I Swear I Lived
Wednesday, April 22, 2026
Sunday, April 12, 2026
El Cochero
In 8th grade, my middle school theater department was curating the play “The Wizard of Oz”. Our drama program had students and teachers bring in props from home to create the plays set. I was living in Miami at the time and walking home from school one day, I noticed the neighbors in the apartment next door had discarded a plethora of items in the communal yard. I took a look through the pile and found two old, leather suitcases. They were a bit worn down, yet intact, and had a certain charm to them. Both were locked, and did not open without a key. Intending to use them as a prop for my school's play, I lifted the suitcases, and quickly realized how heavy they felt. When my mom arrived home that afternoon, I explained what I had found and out of curiosity she asked to review them. She began to pick the lock with a kitchen knife and when the lock unlatched, the puzzle pieces of a Cuban immigrant family's life revealed itself. 130 Letters, a telegram, photos, postcards, a handkerchief, and more relics were stored inside these cases. My mother set out on a long term project to put together this family's puzzle.
I cut my own hair to use for the guajiro’s mustache. When I glued it on, my grandmother told me that it had reminded her of a familiar person in Cuba named “El Cochero” translating to coachman. He had a mustache, dark like my hair, and would ride a small carriage with a horse around, offering rides to entertain the children of the neighborhood. Amidst my family reminiscing, I got a glimpse of their lives prior to immigrating to America, and was able to make a personal connection to my roots, having experienced life very differently. The trials and tribulations of an immigrant's life journey is one that carries on for generations, and although my family's story is important, it is not unique. Within the community of immigrants, we are all able to recognize and relate with one other. I had presented the puppet in concerts, around school, and around the streets of my town, and to my surprise, plenty of other Hispanic people identified the puppet as their own fathers, uncles, or cousins.
In this installation, the guajiro would be sitting on a bench, and coming out of his hollow head would be snails sculpted from air dry clay, trailing all along his perimeter. Growing up my mother would doodle a snail for me, creating a deep sense of connection to the animal. Not only do snails represent patience, but carrying their homes upon their backs symbolize their adaptation, resilience and strength. With the task at hand to make each snail special, I decided to host one snail making event in my school and one in my house, bringing together friends, peers, and strangers around my college campus together to create clay snails for the installation.
Although each snail was created by an individual from a different background, all had one thing in common: they were all on the same voyage together. Accompanied next to the guajiro sitting on the bench, I placed the two leather suitcases. One laid open with a photograph from the family's collection of Raul Vianello Alacan, whose thick brown mustache harmoniously matched with my traveling guajiro.
Tuesday, March 24, 2026
An Essay to Nowhere
"My name is Mariana Flor, and I am the daughter of a first generation immigrant. My mother and father moved from Peru to Miami, Florida to live free of their corrupt governments. My mother is a photographer born in Cuba, an island saturated with censored creatives. The collective of Cuban artists in exile is vastly interconnected, and throughout my childhood I would accompany my mother on artistic endeavors within this community. I grew up with memories of eccentric adults dressed in imperfect bohemian clothes, lighting cigarettes and playing songs on classical guitars. Valentine's day to my mother meant taking us to Miami Beach with a sign that said “I hear love stories” in English and Spanish, and conversing with strangers about love. Our free weekends were spent viewing art at places like the Perez art museum. As a child, I unwittingly translated feelings into artistic expression. The creations and free spirits I witnessed created a sense of comfort in leading through life in my artistic desires.
In 2018, my mother moved my sister and I to New Jersey in hopes of greater opportunities for our family. Moving here opened a world of new cultures, accessible public transportation, cities overflowing with creativity, and the most significant museums in the world, right at my fingertips. With this gain of independence as an adolescent, I attempted to fill my free moments as much as I could. My train rides in between baby sitting jobs were spent live sketching. I integrated myself with artists at local shows, and explored any medium of art that I hadn't touched yet. Inspired by street art, I would bike to abandoned buildings with a bag full of spray paint, to amplify drawings from the night before into murals. I became addicted to improving my style. While traversing through my independent ventures, Hudson County Community College kept me structured. The guidance from my curriculum and professors made me disciplined, and furthered my curiosity.
In 2023, I found a job through HCCC assisting the artist, Jill Nathanson, an artist represented by Berry Campbell Gallery. Jill Nathanson is an abstract painter from New York known for her luminous acrylic paintings. She focuses on the dynamism of color and composition, replicating serene feelings in her work. Assisting Jill Nathanson has led me to practice valuable methods but above all, her attention to color has predisposed my eye. Observing her artistic process has made me witness how the slightest change in a hue can completely affect the sentiment of a field of colors. She is an inspiration and mentor in my art. Around the same time I began working for Jill, I had acquired a job as a studio technician at Blue Skies Pottery. Regarding ceramics, I only had a short portfolio of hand sculpting with air-dry clay and creating claymations, but I voiced my hunger to develop more skills. My role as a studio technician taught me the essence of clay before anything else. With the benefits of the studio space, I was able to practice and build confidence in sculpting and throwing pottery on a wheel. I have now worked as an instructor for two years. My journey in teaching has granted me the opportunity to help guide others, and consistently reflected my passion in 3D sculpting. Being able to physically build a vision of life has allowed me to intertwine my love for drawing into sculpture, and I find paper mache and ceramics to be the most cathartic mediums I work with.
The more my world expands, the further I find creating art to be my purpose. I am privileged to live in a country where I can express myself freely and pursue an artistic career. I feel fulfilled when I create, and relish being challenged. My curiosity strives to be in an environment of artists who feel that same drive, at Rutgers Mason Gross School of the Arts."
I missed the deadline. I could blame it on miss guidance from my counselor. I could blame it on Rutgers confusing website. I could blame it on my lack of discipline. All though all three factors hold a part, sulking in my unsuccessful plan of my academic timeline will just leave me stagnant. I am not being set back, I am being re-navigated. Whenever I end up wherever I do, I am certain I will be creating my art, whether it be Mason Gross, or on the side of a road... That being said, Fall 2027 application will be seeing me once again, and until then I’ll continue learning from the play of life.
Sunday, January 25, 2026
Pet Shop Blog
Right on Grove Street in downtown Jersey City lives a familiar favorite bar to locals, Pet Shop. Pet shop is the pop star of bars in Jersey City. The bar is labeled as a vegetarian restaurant on google, upholding a high status with their vegan chicken nuggets. The bar creates a cozy atmosphere with its dark wooden interior, illuminated by yellow Christmas lights hanging all along the ceiling. There's quirky art displayed, an intimate wine bar in the basement, a spacious patio, and a sweet instant photobooth. While the bars staff does an excellent job in maintaining a polished and cleanly space, the place is still able to hold a grungy bar-like feeling. The bathrooms are blasted with stickers from all sorts of musicians and tagged often by familiar graffiti writers.
Pet Shop feels as though you are taking a step into a cabin owned by a dachshund that wears a monocle. (Here is a drawing of my vision of said Sausage Dog)
The owners of the bar are David Rappaport, Shen Pan, and Erick Speck. They were initially looking to open up a music venue. Erick Speck says, "It's a shame because this area needs it." Although it is not a venue, shows are hosted often enough to create a reputation of one. Bands are invited to perform and DJ's such as Bad Habits and Slim Carrey spin vinyl very often. With the owner's appreciation for rock n roll and cheap beer, they created a space for musicians and artists to feel at home.
I turned 21 on June 22 of 2025. Prior to that, Id often bike down grove street and hear music from outside the bar. Not being able to enter, I would feel what one calls FOMO. Since turning of the legal drinking age, I have been able to spend a handful of nights popping in Pet shop and over consuming green tea shots. On December 11th of 2025, I finally caught my first live show there.
The bands that performed were Juniper, 3 dollars, Skinny, and Young and Doomed. I am proud to say that they are all local and skilled bands in the North Jersey scene. All 4 bands differentiate in alternative genres yet created a cohesive and exciting bill. The show was hosted by the familiar "Dancing Tony" who brings a liveliness to Jersey City by consistently curating events. It had been every bands first time preforming at Pet Shop, making it a memorable night for the local bands and supporters.
On December 18th of 2025, I attended my second show at Pet Shop. My friends that play in the noise rock band, Rotoscope, were performing for the first time at the bar alongside Ouchie, and Dark Surfers. Rotoscopes electronic synths and epileptic light show is enough to make you dance sober, so it paired splendidly that night with Jameson. After the show I was conversing with my friend Soul. He had revealed to me that Pet Shop used to quite literally be a pet shop...
Soul moved to the apartment above the bar in 2008, when the business below was still bannered "Village Tropical Fish & Pet Supplies". The business opened in 1976, being one of the oldest running businesses in Jersey City. When I asked Soul what vivid memories he had living above the original store, he said "I was obsessed with reptiles as a kid. Being right above a tropical pet store only influenced me even more. Every other day I'd go inside the store when I got home. It had a classic pet store smell but a bit funkier than most and looking back at it the animals could've been kept much more responsibly. I recall seeing tropical birds, rodents, fish, etc... The owner was an older man, who despite being rude at times, explained the caretaking of the animals well. I had two iguanas, a bearded dragon, a tarantula, and I was surprised with a cat all from the same store." Just like my pet enthusiast friend Soul, the shop had many loyal customers. However, in 2014 the shop closed down after 38 years of business, due to what we can assume to be rising rent in the gentrifying area.
When David, Erick, and Shen were looking to rent a place out, they thought to keep the name of the prior businesses. In the blog post "Pet Shop Bar" by "Jersey City Gal.", Dave Rappaport says "We almost rented Beauty Land and were going to call it Beauty Land." Renting 99 Cent Dreams was also amidst conversation between the owners. A beer and a show at a spot named "99 Cent Dreams" does sound enticing... Nevertheless, they landed upon the pet shop. They decided to craft a vegetarian menu, which one can deem as a commemoration to the spots 38 years of being animals' territory. Their bar logo is an empty bird cage with a bent bar, symbolizing the liberation from their day jobs to pursue their passions.
Hearing and reading about the Tropical pet store shutting down left me with conflicted emotions. I felt guilt and a bit of grief in the closing of this 'Mom n Pop' shop. Having never entered, I could only hear stories and read short Facebook posts showing the sentimental value it held to the community. With cities ever developing, familiar places continually close their doors and leave locals to reminisce. David, Erick and Shen built a place that remains curating memories for the community. The ability to be creative, to entertain, and enjoy yourself is possible here. Like my friend Soul did, I hope to let other avid pet shop lovers know (if they didn't already) about the location's history. Knowing of what it once was and never truly knowing what it could be, leaves us to appreciate the present moments much further. As Winnie the Pooh once said "We didn't realize we were making memories. We just knew we were having fun."Monday, December 8, 2025
A Trip to the Guggenheim Museum
On October 24th of 2025, my peers and I took a trip to the Guggenheim Museum. The Guggenheim Museum is located in Upper East Side of Manhattan, on fifth Avenue. The museum opened on October 21, 1959. Solomon R. Guggenheim began collecting art in the 1930s once he had retired as a mining tycoon. A German artist named Hilla Rebay helped Solomon display his collection in 1939. In 1943, Hilla contracted the architect Frank Lloyd Wright to create a museum. The design of the museum was asked to not just be a museum, but a place where people can experience art in a new way. In the article "Guggenheim Museum opens in New York City" on the website "History.com", it quotes Rebay asking Frank to build a "temple of spirit". Frank Llloyd developed the Guggenheim for the following 16 years, until he passed away, six months before the museum opening. The exterior of the Guggenheim is bowl shaped, featuring a spiraled ramp on the inside, creating one continuous floor surface. The glass ceiling is shaped like a dome, spotlighting right in the center of the museum. Floyd found inspiration in the architecture through his love of nature, the structure almost resembling a seashell. With each room connecting to one another, the fluidity of the museum mimics a fluidity in nature.
On this visit, the artist Rashid Johnson's installation called "A Poem for Deep Thinkers" was being exhibited. Rashid Johnson was born in 1977, in Illinois. He studied at the Columbia College Chicago and the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. This is his first time exhibiting in the Guggenheim museum and marks his largest exhibition to date. "A Poem for Deep Thinkers" exhibits works through all of Rashid Johnsons works from the past three decades. Rashid says it feels like a family reunion, "and every family reunion is fairly complicated." He uses a variety of materials and different mediums, including mirrors, shea butter, ceramics, black soap, etc. His work reflects upon presence, identity, culture, and anxiety.
Rashids larger scaled works have a common theme of repetition. The specific work that caught my eye was the painting "Anxious Audience". His sporadic marks and sketching embodies the overwhelming feeling of panic and anxiety. Rashids works in this collection were all larger scaled and grand, creating what felt like an invitation for the viewer to step into his world of inner turmoil.
Monday, November 10, 2025
Sue Havens Talk
Today in class, the artist Sue Havens was gracious enough to meet with my peers and discuss her artistic journey. Sue Havens has been creating art ever since she could remember. From a young age she expressed herself through drawing, her style, and plenty of different mediums. Her artistic carrier extends in many directions because of her continuous curiosity in making art. Sues reflection of the nonlinear path she's taken in her 40 years of creating art, leaves me courageous to stride through my own creative journey. These are highlights of Sues Artist talk that captured my focus the most.
Sue has always had in interest in sewing. Her strong skill in sewing allowed her to take on projects such as handmade hoods, crafting hats, DIY toy making manuals, and sewing outfits. Although her sewing projects range very widely, all of them embody a cohesive style. In the following photo is a helmet Sue crafted and photographed on her friend Yan. The unique proportion combined with the linear pattern creates a warp in between two dimensionality and 3 dimensionality. Whilst the helmet itself has an illustrative almost cartoony depiction, the pairing coat and photographing techniques invoke a stylish elegance.
Sues earlier paintings explore both dimensionality and flatness in figuration, creating whirls of intriguing paintings. Her rebellious use of shapes, color, and composition creates an optical illusion for the viewer. Sue says her figure paintings were a small connection before she moved on to her more abstract artworks.
Tuesday, October 14, 2025
Tribeca Gallery Hop
On September 19th of 2025, I was able to travel to the Tribeca area, alongside with my peers and professors, to visit a number of galleries. First, we entered the Jack Shainman Gallery and viewed the "I Am Many" Exhibition by the artist Hank Willis Thomas.
Hank Willis Thomas, 13 panels, 27 x 21 x 1 3/4 inches (each framed), UV Print on retroreflective vinyl, mounted on Dibond, 2018.
Hank Willis tries to create things that open different ways to look at topics we may have repeatedly already seen. In the inspiration for one of Hanks art works, he researched the book "House of Bondage" by Ernest Cole. He was a black photographer who traveled over South Africa documenting the Apartheid, the system of institutionalized racial segregation in South Africa from 1948 to the early 1990s, characterized by severe discrimination against non-white citizens. Ernest smuggled photographs outside of the country, and one in particular struck an idea to Hank Willis for a sculpture. The image shows nude miners lined up with their hands in the air. Hank was overwhelmed with guilt gazing at their exposed backsides. He created a statue to give viewers the ability to walk completely around the statues and see the faces of the citizens that hold the pride, sufferings, and power represented of all racial prejudice. The murder of Mike Brown was about 6 months after Hank had made the sculpture. The phrase " Hands Up, Don't Shoot" became an unofficial title of the statue. In the same Art21 interview, Hank says "I see everything as connected, so if I'm making work about coal miners or Ferguson or basketball, frankly, a lot of the bodies are connected through this history of oppression." Hank Williams work exhibits not only a powerful and cohesive commentary upon black lives, but he also approaches it in a unique and different manner than other political artwork. This exhibition was extremely moving and allowed all viewers to immerse themselves in the extensive history of the black race.
Andrej Dubravsky, The bee which stopped for a minute and started to thinking about all the colors and shades of pollen in the world, 2025. Acrylic and oil pastel on canvas. 47 1/4 x 39 1/4 in
Andrej Dubravsky, Untitled, 2025. Acrylic and oil pastel on canvas. 85 1/2 x 53 1/2 in
Chloe Wise, Body Amnesia, 2025. Oil on linen. 71 7/8 x 24 x 1 3/8 in.
Thursday, October 9, 2025
The Artist Soup
On September 19th of 2025, I was able to visit the "Artist Soup" Exhibition. The exhibition was located in DGA Studio, Jersey City, 35 Journal Square Plaza. The exhibition included 41 artists, showcasing a variation of conceptual art, pop art, realism, street art, and surrealism. The exhibition was curated by Mariah DeBenedetto and Daniel Guzman. Daniel is the owner of DGA Studios. He is a former student in Hudson County Community College, where I currently attend. His wife is Mariah DeBenedetto, whom he met at HCCC, and collaborates in curating exhibitions with Daniel. My professors, having taught him in years past, were able to bring our class over to DGA studios for the opening. I had the pleasure to talk in person with Daniel and message him after the Artist Soup show. I discovered that he is a well accomplished and skillful tattoo artist. When Daniel is not using DGA studios as his personal artistic/tattooing studio, he shares the space for artists to exhibit. He says "In Jersey City there are too many galleries, and some are very hard to get in and show your work. We take anyone who wants to show."
Daniel has been in the studio for 4 years and celebrates 1 year since curating the first art show of DGA Studios. Artist Soup includes all of the artist from the first showcase, named "Cultural Connections" along with 4 new artists. The theme of Cultural Connections was any artwork in relation or commemoration to one's own culture. For the Artist Soup show, there was no theme, inviting artists to showcase whatever they pleased. Out of curiosity, I asked how Daniel and Mariah chose the name for this exhibition. Daniel explained, "In all the galleries in Jersey City there is always a theme, title for the art show. That’s the hardest thing to come up with, a title for the art show. One day, we were talking on the way to the studio. Being an artist, sometimes most of us have a full-time job, after our jobs we can do some artwork, and work on ourselves, self-care. You have to do a little bit of all this, while your responsibilities chase you, so I said you need a bit of this, a bit of that. Then my wife says, 'Oh my god, its like making a soup' and I said 'Oh my god, that's the name of the art show. Artist Soup". Here are a couple of the artworks from The Artist Soup exhibition that most captivated my interest!
Thursday, September 11, 2025
Hijack and Isaac Cordal
Hijack, "Misfit" 2022. 13 color silkscreen print on Archival paper. 22 x 30 in.
Hijack is a street artist from Los Angeles, California. He creates societal commentary through his artwork, attracting the public for deeper contemplation. As a street artist, his work is typically displayed in public spaces for anyone to see. The artwork “MIsfits”, shows two hooded figures at opposite ends of a golden frame. Both characters are struggling to push red 3D Graffiti styled letters writing “Misfit” to fit inside of the frame. Letters are bursting out of each side, seeming it won't fit inside of the artwork anytime soon. The frame can be interpreted to be hung upon a gallery wall and be displayed to an audience. The visual image creates a commentary of the correlation in graffiti art versus gallery art.
The hooded figure is assumed to be the graffiti artist who created the artwork. With the word choice Misfit, and the anonymous character, there is a symbolic representation of the division from the blue-chip gallery world and street art. Although graffiti entwined more into the contemporary art world in the late 70s, it is fair to say street art is more challenging to get displayed in a gallery, rather than a traditional painting. One can interpret this painting as street artists feeling unwelcomed in the contemporary art world. However, it can also be viewed as an exploitation in graffiti artwork to commercialize work. Since in graffiti, letters are to be stretched/enlarged/and creatively dragged out, the pressure from the two characters pushing to fit letters inside the frame can symbolize conforming style and authenticity to sell and publicize their work.
Either interpretation sparks reflection or thought to the viewer upon unofficial roles and stereotypes in the art world. With Hijack's devotion to street art, it also creates wonder of his journey and transition from displaying work not only on public streets, but to galleries as well.
Isaac Cordal, "Usual Business" 2017. Polyurethane resin and acrylic. 15 x 10 1/2 x 3 in.
Isaac Cordal is a street artist from Pontevedra, Galicia, Spain. He creates sculptures reflecting our modern society. On his traveling journey, he finds random urban locations he deems fitting for an idea of a sculpture. He constructs a typically smaller scale artwork and comes back once it is complete to install it, allowing anyone who looks closely enough to view. His sculptures are created out of polyurethane concrete and painted with acrylic, producing a design that is durable enough to be in external environments. This sculpture shows a man from the chest up dressed in a grey suit and tie. His face is covered in a red ski mask hood, only revealing his eyes and mouth. The expression of the character seems to be deadpan.
Throughout many of Isaac's works, he creates many similar sculptures of men in business suits. In an interview on “Canal180” titled “180 ID Isaac Cordal”, he says, “These people are white collar, they look like they don't break a plate, and in the end, those are the people that manipulate the world. In case of corruption, for example, we see how the most corrupt are the best dressed.” Isaac depicts the suited character to be a representation a businessman associated with power. Just like in Hijacks painting, the sculpture carries an anonymity through the masked face, presenting a whole certain group of people as one. In Hijacks painting, the hooded person is an underrepresented artist that is out of place in the set environment. In Isaacs work, we can note the connotation of the businessman's immorality, since the characters mask is correlated to one a robber wears to protect their identity while stealing. The hood used in the artwork evokes a feeling of dishonesty and thievery of those who hold power in any hierarchal groups, whether it be through corporations, businesses, politics, etc. Isaac displays the sculpture directly facing the viewer, feeling almost as if the businessman is "robbing one blind".
Although Hijack and Isaac create embodiments of people in the work, there is still a vagueness as to what they speak for. Both art works create a question of the ability of success within a hierarchy, leaving questions such as "Who has power to condone decisions within and for our society?". "How equitable and honest are these people in power?". A sense of rebellion and objection radiates through the work motivating a sense of curiosity and question societal roles and expectations.








